Birds of a feather laugh together! Get ready for a bevy of bird puns and jokes that everyone will be raven about.
82 Clever Bird Puns and Jokes That’ll Make Your Whole Gaggle Giggle
Updated on Jul. 18, 2025
Best bird puns
- You wing some, you lose some.
- Don’t give up—toucan do it!
- Ready wren you are.
- What a pheasant surprise!
- Quacking up.
- Making wise quacks.
- I egret many of my choices.
- I’ve been waiting owl day to see you.
- Owl be back.
- Owl always love you.
- Birdie call.
- Some of these bird puns are a bit of ostrich.
- Love it? We can’t stop raven about it!
- These bird jokes are im-peck-able.
- Beak careful out there!
- Poultry in motion.
- I’ve been heron some pretty fowl language.
- What a flocking idiot.
- He’s my tweetie-pie.
- Chick it out.
- Tweet dreams!
Punny bird jokes
- Why did the bird go to therapy?
For psychological tweetment.
- What do you call a chicken who plays slap bass?
A funky chicken.
- Why did the eagle go to art school?
Because she was so talon-ted.
- How do chickens wake up without a rooster?
They set an alarm cluck.
- Why are birds always such bad cooks?
Everything they make is fowl.
- What do you call a bird caveman?
A crow-magnon.
- What do you call a bird that tells jokes?
A comedi-hen.
- What kind of birds heckle comedians?
Mockingbirds.
- What’s a bird’s favorite kind of movie?
Chick flicks.
- Why are owls so bad at using computers?
They keep eating the mouse.
- Why don’t flamingos ever win at poker?
They always fold.
- What’s a crow’s favorite type of music?
Caw-ntry.
- Why don’t penguins like talking to strangers at parties?
It’s hard for them to break the ice.
- What do some birds eat dinner at 4 o’clock?
To get the early bird special.
- Why are vultures such bad comedians?
Their jokes are always dead on arrival!
- Why didn’t the bird go to the beach?
Because it was feather weather.
- Why don’t birds ever get speeding tickets?
Because they always fly under the radar.
- What’s the ocean bird’s favorite book?
Seagulliver’s Travels.
- When did Picasso paint a lot of birds?
In his bluebird period.
- How do birds invest their money?
In storks and bonds.
- Why are crows so terrible at keeping secrets?
They always caw attention to themselves.
Bird jokes for kids
- What do you call a bird that’s afraid of heights?
A chicken!
- Why do crows always stick together in flocks?
They have velcrow.
- Why did the crow sit on the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long-distance caw.
- How did the bird break into the house?
With a crow bar.
- Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
Because he had a very big bill.
- Why did the duck love the 4th of July so much?
Because of the firequackers.
- What kind of bird never needs a haircut?
A bald eagle.
- What kind of birds make the best construction workers?
Cranes.
- What are an owl’s favorite kind of books?
Hoot-dunits.
- Which bird won the hot dog eating contest?
A swallow.
- Why did the detective accuse the bird of murder?
He suspected fowl play.
- What kind of math do birds like?
Owl-gebra.
- What do you call a canary that’s good at geometry?
Tweetie Pi.
- What kind of birds become priests?
Birds of prey.
- How does a duck eat his soup?
With quackers.
- What do you call a box of ducks with a prize inside?
Quacker Jacks.
- Why do chickens go to the gym?
To egg-cersize.
- Which bird is always out of breath?
A puffin.
- Which bird stole the soap from the bathtub?
The robber duckie.
Silly bird jokes
- How do you make the Tootsie Roll Owl mad?
You call him the Tootsie Roll Owl. His name is Steve, thank you very much!
- Why do chickens work out?
To get bigger pecks.
- What do you call a bird that’s good at karate?
A kung-flew master.
- Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover up their butt quacks.
- What do you call a bird that works at a bank?
A loan shark—no wait, that’s a fish.
- How do birds watch TV?
On Nestflix.
- Why did the bird stay up all night?
Because there’s no nest for the weary!
- Why did the woodpecker start an oil company?
He was really good at drilling.
- What do you call a bird who stars in an action movie?
Steven Seagull.
- What kind of soap does a pigeon use?
Dove.
- What do you call a sassy tween bird?
Punky Rooster.
Bird knock-knock jokes
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Toucan.
Toucan who?
Toucan play at this game—got any jokes for me?
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sparrow.
Sparrow who?
I’ll sparrow you the details—just laugh at the joke!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Owl.
Owl who?
Owl be seeing you … once I rotate my head 270 degrees.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wren.
Wren who?
Wren are you going to start laughing at my jokes?
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hawk.
Hawk who?
Hawk-ward silence. Did I fly in at a bad time?
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Stork.
Stork who?
I’m stork-raving mad! Go away!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cardinal.
Cardinal who?
Cardinal rule: Always answer the door when someone knocks!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pigeon.
Pigeon who?
Pigeon-holed myself into telling bird jokes all day!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Eagle.
Eagle who?
Eagle-y waiting for you to open this door!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
An owl, silly!
Why trust us
Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter, the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. For this piece on bird puns and jokes, Laura Beck tapped her 15-plus years of experience as a professional humor writer for TV shows and magazines. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
